Looking at life's lesson as time flies by
LIFE is like a fortnight's holiday. The first week goes slowly and the second week flies by.
It has been said that the first few minutes of life are the most dangerous. I would say the last few are a bit iffy too.
All things considered I think I am coping well with the slings and arrows of life and health. Although, having said that, my doctor has told me to slow down. So I have put speed humps in my carpets.
Nowadays we have pocket TVs, phones, calculators and cameras. We have everything for the pocket except money.
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There seems to be no sanctuary. At a wedding recently I'm sure I heard the vicar say "Till debt do us part".
Many would be better off financially if it wasn't for the extravagance of their neighbours.
I would love to be able to go on a holiday – I need the towels.
Also, to get away from the cold and incontinent skies. Living in this country you have to weather the weather, whether you like it or not.
How to know when you are getting old. You have gone from stud to dud, your idea of life in the fast lane is queuing at the 10 items or less checkout at the supermarket, going potty has a double meaning, you put your bra on back to front and it fits, and your wheelie bin goes out more than you do.
You can remember when white powder was just for washing, you take a packed lunch when you climb the stairs and your grandchildren think you have a squirrel in your ear.
Douglas Shopland, Cheltenham
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