“How's your hangover?

No, what you are doing is not against the law, my house is wired to blow up if there is an intruder.”

“Now we know that his house is going to be empty for the next few days - who votes we go round and replace his stash of weed with a dictionary?”

“Thank god i no its ok to rig my house as i was worried about the neighbouring flee bitten cats messing in my garden hopefully that will put a end to it,@ pengipete im off to amsterdam for a fat bong pmsl”

“Just in case you are seriously thinking otherwise - if you set traps with the intention of causing physical harm to an intruder, you would almost certainly be charged with a criminal offence because that would far exceed "reasonable force". Given that you've stated that you are actually targeting people you suspect or know are likely to enter your property, you could face far more serious charges - up to and including murder.

If nothing else, you have to appreciate that whilst you are away, there could be genuine, lawful reasons for someone to enter your home - the fire brigade being just one obvious suggestion.”

“@ pengipete Wow u r not playing i understand about the fire brigade i will have to buy some sprinklers but dont no much about the law in the great britian but i no it was banned in scotland in the 1800s is it the same in great britian?”

“It's only a criminal offence if you get caught. If somebody gets hurt inside your property you need to get there before the Police and finish them off, then it's just the simple matter of disposal.”

“There bolted to the floor so they will be yanking for a while lol”

“Iv also placed small planks with 6inc nails and screws on every other step leading to the upper landing and down to the basement with a smear of butter on every other step god forbid if anyone slipped i think i should of used goose fat as its xmas, i dont want to spend to much on the rotton scroundrels,just incase they gat a grip iv lased the banister with size 6 sea fishing hooks and i have blackout blinds in every room in my house

I wont tell you what i have smeared the nails or the traps in as it is quiet un pleasent”

“Watch out Bear-traps you don't get caught in one of your own traps. Have you thought of laying a mine-field around your house? Assume you have a super-brain to remember every hazard around you.”